I Loved You

I loved you. I never lied about that.

I loved you. I never planned for it to happen

I loved you. I did

I loved you. I have to leave you now.

I loved you. I was hurt in love by love by you

I loved you. My heart never warned me that it could be this way. It could be that way

I loved you. I did every thing that I could waiting, hoping, aiming, listening for you to love me back

I loved you. My ears heard things that you didn’t say

I loved you. My eyes saw things that you did not project for me to see

I loved you. My arms wrapped around you in a hug and I thought I had arrived. But had I?

I loved you. My chest heaved when your finally embraced me, the way I hoped you would

I loved you. My legs buckled. My knees grew weak. I guess that is why they call it falling in love

I loved you. My toes curled in the wet dream with you

I loved you. My life was opened up in-front of you. Laid bare. Vulnerable, exposed. You took my life and not my love.

I loved you. Even when you never cared about you 

I loved you. Even when everyone told me there is no chance with you

I loved you. Even when my best friend told me you are using me as an ego trip for your low esteem

I loved you. Even when you hurt me and took yourself away from me in the name of meditation and thinking through things.

I loved you. Even when you said you do not know how to love

I loved you. Even after you said you were scared of being loved that way by any person on earth

I loved you. Even after the insults of alcohol-induced fights

I loved you.

I have to leave you now. I have to save myself.

I re-learn to love me.

And when you finally love me like I loved you, maybe I will be (t)here. 

Maybe.

I loved you.